We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
