Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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