My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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