i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
