i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just high enough for therapy.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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