I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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