i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
