i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I need to align my fucking chakras
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