And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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