Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
