I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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