God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
