i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
