If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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