and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
