goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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