So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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