I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
