I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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