wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
