Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
