I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
