A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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