Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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