Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
