my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
