I don't think brook has ever known best
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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