her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
