theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
