So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just had sex bonerless
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Farmville is her only friend.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
