Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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