overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
