I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
