you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We are all done wearing pants today
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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