I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize