On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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