I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
