I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
