You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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