he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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