I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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