Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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