she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
