dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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