well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
