i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
