the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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