Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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