it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
