I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
