someone threw a dead crab at me
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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