Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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