dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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