Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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