ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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