Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
