So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
