No stitches, just platelets and will power
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
