this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
