so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
