I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
