Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
