I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize