are you still at the devil's house?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize