so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
