Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
