Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
