I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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