Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
