so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize