I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize