you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize