I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
