I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
