i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
