I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
