grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
