Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
