It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
