I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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